My Retarded FlippyEvil fic
by FlippyxFlaky
Summary: What happens when Flippy stares at a tree? What happen if a lemon kinda happens? What happens when Evil cries over the ending of Titanic? I DON'T KNOW! It's retarted,so HAAAA


**A/N: I **_**DO NOT **_**in any way, shape or form own HTF. Okay, Mondo? You can't sue me! HAHAHA :D This is my first 'kinda proper' story so please be nice :3 or...not...whatever floats your boat P: Evil/ Flippy, okay? Don't like, don't read. ONESHOT! Might turn into a twoshot is I get enough reviews :D Evil is soooooooo OOC, and Flippy sounds emo. SO WHAT MUDKIPZ just kidding .**

****As usual, Flippy woke up at 6 am sharp, and went through his daily routine. Same old, same old. Showered, changed from his dark green PJ's into his usual attire; an army jacket, dog tags, and his beret, brushed his teeth, made his bed, and walked out, ready for his morning stroll.

Flippy always used to love his little morning strolls. The sun would be out, shining brightly, almost greeting the green bear as he walked around town. His friends would be playing games together, and occasionally, he would join in. He'd wave at Flaky as she delivered the papers, and she'd wave back, smiling joyfully. He loved the morning. Well, _used to..._

That is, until he found out that after his sessions with the local psychiatrist, Lumpy, someone made an unwanted return into his life. No, it wasn't Giggles, or Flaky, nor Cuddles. None of the Tree Friends, infact. The one who made the debut back into his life, was no other, than Evil.

After he found out that Evil was back, roaming around in his puny mind, waiting for the tiniest slip in Flippy's days for him to take over, Flippy stopped being enthusiastic. But, what could be expected? With Lumpy treating you, alteast _something _was going to go wrong. And this something was Evil.

The Sun almost stopped glowing; making Flippy feel like it didn't want to be seen near a murderous bear. Cuddles, Giggles, and Toothy stopped playing their games when Flippy walked past, and they chatted amongst themselves. Flippy heard everything they said. Just _one_ word. And it made feel horrible. Occasionally, Flippy would wave at Flaky; she'd smile slightly, and then ride off fast. He felt alone.

And today was no different.

He walked around into the centre of Happy Tree Town. He smirked. _What a stupid name for a town._ He kept walking. Once again, the sun was hiding behind the clouds; Giggles, Cuddles and Toothy all stopped playing, and mumbled that _one word _to eachother again. Flippy just ignored them, again. He stopped mid-stride, and waved to Flaky, who let out a tiny 'Eep', gave a small wave, and rode off before Flippy could even say goodbye. _Such was life_, Flippy thought.

As Flippy was walking, he heard bushes rustling behind him. _What was that?_ He looked behind him. No one. His mind must've been playing tricks on him, not like that's the first time that would've happened. So, all in all, he just kept on walking. _Rustle, Rustle. _"Huh?" Flippy peeped to himself. He turned around once more, and found out that, **once again**, there was absolutely nothing there, except for a bush. _Ha, Flippy! You're getting paranoid over a bush? C'mon, soldier! A bush! A BUSH! It's just a freaking BUSH! _"Ha, a bush..." Flippy giggled to himself. He started walking again, but when he turned his head to face forwards, he walked straight into a tree.

"Ow, god damnit!" Flippy yelled at the tree, almost hoping it would apologize. "Wait a minute..." He looked at the tree very carefully. He was sure he was getting stared at like a crazy person, not that he already was, for almost having a minute long staring contest with a tree.

"Pssst, Cuddles!" Giggles hushed over her shoulder. He walked over with a puzzled look. "I vote the tree's gonna win!" She pointed over to where the tree and Flippy were facing off.

"I second that!" Toothy called over to Giggles.

"Me too!" Cuddles chirped in.

Meanwhile, back at the staring contest, Flippy, of course, had to do the '_logical' _thing, and poked the tree.

"I wonder what this does..." Flippy found a button posted on the tree. "Oh well, anyplace is better than this _hell of a town." _He pressed it. It went black.

...

Flippy awoke, chained to a wall.

"Wh-Where the hell am I?" Asked a drowsy Flippy.

"Why, hello, Soldier. Finally awake, are we?" Commented a familiar husky voice.

"Wa-wait...Evil?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out," He mocked.

"Am I dr-dreaming? Or is this a n-n-nightmare?" Flippy asked nervously.

"What are you so scared about? I'm not going to hurt you...much," He giggled, almost child-like.

"You don't scare me. This is just a nightmare. I'll wake up shortly!" The good half yelled.

Evil stepped closer to Flippy, into the light. "Tsk, tsk, Flippy," He pointed at Flippy's shadow. "Your shadow..." He then pointed at his own. "And, my shadow. Take a guess, hot-shot. I'm..."

"R-r-real?" Flippy stuttered.

"Mhhhmmm," He moaned lustfully in Flippy's ear. He shivered. "But, I guess I can spare your life...on one condition."

"A-and what w-would that be?" Flippy bet Evil could smell the fear on his breath.

"This." Evil crushed his lips onto Flippy's.

Flippy was shocked. He didn't know how to react. There was mixed feelings gushing through Flippy. One moment he felt hatred. Another he felt fear. But the one that was overpowering them all was...lust?

Evil released Flippy from his grasp and looked at the chains above him. He was going to use them to his advantage.

"E-Evil, why did y-you chain m-me up?" Flippy asked softly, making Evil loose all his thoughts and just stare at Flippy wide eyed. He looked so cute when he was petrified. And that's when it hit him...

He couldn't chain Flippy up. This poor, war-torn bear had been through enough. He'd lost his family, his friends, and nearly everything else that meant something to him. He almost got killed various times, too. Sure, Evil was a sadist and loved hurting, torturing and killing people, but he felt a...connection...to said green bear.

"I...I can't do this to you, Flippy..." Evil looked down, ashamed.

"W-what do you mean?" He looked at him confused.

"You're...you're just too cute to hurt..."

Flippy blushed, but it went un noticed by Evil.

"What about t-that one time w-when we fought?"

"It was stupid, Flippy. And I'm s...I'm so...ugh...why can't I say that word?"

"Y-you mean 'sorry'?" Flippy didn't take his eyes off Evil. Not because Evil was acting strange, but because Flippy wanted to do something..._something._

"Yes! That word...I'm s-s-sorry...Flippy," Evil apologized.

"Uh, hey, it's fine, but is it really that necessary to have me chained up?" He giggled. Evil smiled.

"Duh, stupid me, I forgot." He undid the chains carefully, making sure he didn't hurt Flippy.

"HA!" Flippy acted quicker than lightning, and all Evil saw was a green blur. Before they both knew it, Evil was the one chained up, and Flippy was the interrogator. _Good cop, bad cop,_ Flippy giggled to himself.

"Wait, what? Oh, come on! I just let you down, and now you've tied me up?"

"'Chained' you up, to be exact." Flippy smirked.

"Whatever," Evil rolled his eyes, and Flippys smile soon turned into a frown.

"E-Evil, I didn't mean to seem li-"

"GOTCHA!" He roared into a fit of laugher.

"Oh, haha, very funny, Evil." Flippy's smile soon returned. "But, since you did that, I have to torture you."

Evil's face soon turned serious. "What?"

"Aha, now look who's cranky." Flippy laughed.

"I am _not _cranky." Evil pouted.

"Fine. But it's because I feel bad now," Flippy undid the chains, and Evil landed on top of him.

"Feel _bad_, eh?"

Flippy had a blank look on his face until he caught onto the innuendo. "What the hell I'd never!"

Evil giggled a bit, and then scooted up, so he was sitting on top of Flippy's chest.

"But...I wanna try _something._"

Flippy clearly blushed, and this time Evil noticed it. He blushed too.

"And what _exactly _do you want to try, Evil?"

Before Flippy knew it, Evil moved down a bit on Flippy's body, and quickly unbuttoned his jacket.

"W-wait...what are you doing?" Flippy asked while still obviously blushing.

"Gosh, Flippy. You take _ages _to realise what someone is doing!" Evil discarded the jacket, and started on his pants. (Yes, I know, Flippy nor Evil wears pants, but, THEY DO NOW MUHAHAHA!) This time, Flippy didn't object, only he started undoing Evil's jacket.

_Wow, it's pretty big, _Evil thought. _I guess I should know, but..._

Evil was interrupted then Flippy started kissing his chest. Evil didn't know it, but while he was busy moaning, Flippy was busy undoing Evil's pants. (Told ya they wear PANTS!)

"W-wait, F-Flippy..." Evil said nervously.

"Yes, Evil?" He looked at his doppelganger awkwardly.

"I-I've never d-done something l-like th-this..." He looked away in shame.

"Hey, be happy, please?" Flippy used his free hand to make Evil look him in the eyes. "Please?"

Evil smiled. "It's just that...the truth is...I-I'm a..."

"Virgin?" Flippy finished the sentence for him.

"Y-yes," Evil looked Flippy in his eyes again. "It's embarrassing."

"Why is it embarrassing? Truth be told...I'm kinda a virgin, too."

"Kinda?"

"Long story." Flippy laughed. Evil did the same.

"I have an ide-"

Before Evil could finish his sentence, Flippy spun around, and somehow got on top of Evil. Naked, of course. What fun would this story be if everyone was fully clothed? NO FUN AT ALL! Exactly...Anyway...

"_**I **_have an idea." Flippy narrowed his eyes at Evil, who licked his lips, and playfully growled at him.

"What's your id-OH DEAR GOD!" Once again, before Evil could finish his sentence, Flippy grabbed hold of his throbbing member, and slowly stroked it. (For everyone who read my T or D fic, this is sooo what they were doing in the closet P:)

Flippy giggled at Evil's naivety. Evil arched his back, moaning in pure bliss, and accidentally snorted. There was an awkward silence, then they both broke into fits of roaring laughter.

"Sexually stimulated snorting? Nice one, Evil!"

"Oi! It wasn't my fault! You were the one who grabbed hold of my di-"

Once AGAIN, before Evil could finish his sentence, Flippy silenced him with a rough kiss to the mouth. Evil mumbled a bit, before succumbing to Flippy's attempts to make his tongue roam around in Evil's mouth.

"What was that, Evil?" Flippy giggled.

"I said, you really want me to stop talking, don't y-"

**AGAIN, **Flippy stopped him with another kiss to the mouth, this one making Evil moan. Flippy laughed into the kiss, and also accidentally snorted. They pulled away.

"You were saying, Mr-Green-Bear-Who-Snorts-After-Getting-Kissed?"

"S-shutup, Evil!"

Evil smiled, satisfied.

It was then that no other then the neighborhood 'hero', Splendid, burst through the wall? Was this a tree or a wall? I forget. Oh well...

"I heard yelling! What's the-DEAR GOD SHIELD MY EYES! SORRY FOR ALL MY SINS!" Then Splendid fell off a cliff.

"That was...hot," Evil stared at the cliff that wasn't there before.

"Totally. Wanna have hot sex now?" Flippy pulled Evils face close so that their noses were touching. (Why do all my stories have to have cliffs in them, I will never know v.v)

"Hell yeah," Evil spun around so he was back on top. "This is gonna hurt a bit okay?"

"JUST DO IT FOR GODS SAKE!"

"Okay! Okay!" He went in slowly, to make sure Flippy got used to it. "Better?"

"Much," He started going faster.

"Evil..." Flippy asked.

"Hmm?" He responded between trusts.

"Do...you feel like watching a romance movie?"

"Titanic?"

"Exactly."

"Sure." Evil stopped thrusting and pulled out. "Now, where's my pants?"

"Evvvvviiiilllllll!" Flippy called in a sing-song voice. "Got ya pants!"

"Ohhhh hell to the no!" Evil soon was running (naked) around the house chasing Flippy for his pants.

Flippy motioned to the couch. "Sit. Then I'll _think about _giving you your pants back."

"Fine." Evil huffed.

"If you get through this movie without crying, I'll give you your pants back..."

"Pft, I don't cry. You're on!"

"Sure about that? Okay, whatever." Flippy smiled. He _knew _he'd win this.

-At the end of the movie-

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE! HE LOVED HER *sob* SO *sob* MUCH!" Evil cried on Flippy's shoulder.

Flippy smiled, knowing he had done his job.

** O_O Retarded story! It was going to be a lemon, BUT NOOOO :O It just 'somehow' had to turn into a monged retarded story about Evil crying over the Titanic movie. UGAHAH! Blah... So yeah. Sorry about wasting your time. I ate a whole lot of CHOCOLATE **

**Nutty: WHERE!**

**Me: *Punches him in the face* And sugar and stuff P: BYE KINDA **

**Remember: R&R about the retarded story P:**


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